Create Yourself!

Bad Hair Day

2009-06-19T12:14:00.003-05:00

How did I wake up today, on an important Friday, with Robert Plant's hair??? (Lead singer of Led Zeppelin, top right, for those who don't know.)

That's right! My guy is coming in town today and will be at my apartment by the time I get home from work and my hair looks like that! All I can do is laugh. He'll have to wait for me to take another shower so I can blow dry and straighten this mess before we go out.

Reason #107 of why I love my guy: He calls often to tell me we're having "Date Night". Tonight, after I tame this mane, we're going to The Cheesecake Factory and then to the movie theatre to see The Hangover. I'm so excited!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

update on my sewing goal

2009-06-17T20:39:00.006-05:00

So Jo-Ann's is having a huge sale this week and I took advantage of it. I normally don't scout out sales, but these days I have to. And I admit, it's actually becoming fun to look for sales and cut coupons. I even finally put myself on a serious budget and I am excited about it. How weird is that?!

I am very proud of myself for this one though. I got a 3 piece Fiskars set that included an 18 x 24 cutting mat, an 6.5 x 24.5 acrylic ruler and a 45mm rotary cutter for 50% off! It was originally $47 and I got it for $23!

I also got these fabric quarters for .99 cents each. (Originally $1.50)

Super excited about this purchase! I have a 50% off coupon for a regular priced item, and I'm hunting down a really nice pair of dressmaker's shears. (If they aren't on sale already.)

Words?

2009-06-09T04:10:00.005-05:00

Words can not even express how much I am in love with this man. I am officially at that point where not only do I sob like a baby when I leave him because I don't know when we'll see each other again, but I cry even while at home because I miss him so so so terribly bad. This is so hard and yet so beautiful. Make sense?

The serious photo wouldn't upload, so I'll leave you with the "what kind of face is that?" picture.

Note To Self

2009-06-02T22:05:00.002-05:00

Finally revealing his face, blog style. This isn't the day he said "I love you", but I will definitely be sharing that story and that photo soon!

Sew you did what?

2009-05-29T18:23:00.007-05:00

I'm really trying to achieve this learn-to-sew goal. So far I've had fun with it, which helps. On my lunch breaks at work I'm reading this book I've had for over a year now, S.E.W. Sew Everything Workshop, by Diana Rupp.

It's just the guide for me because I'm a visual learner and like everything pretty much spelled out for me, so to speak. In chapter 2 she warns that the thing to do before moving on to Chapter 3 is to learn all the parts of the sewing machine. Being that I'm such the visual learner, know what I spent my Thursday evening doing?

Yep, that's right...I labeled every part of the sewing machine.

The impatient side of me wants to skip all this beginner stuff like playing with all the different kinds of stitching patterns and pop out the best pair of pants ever. However, that kind of thinking always gets me no where. SO...back to the book I go.

Wish me luck!

P.S. I may attempt to make my own D.I.Y. dress form. There are several video tutorials on YouTube. Now I just have to try to convince my mom to wrap me up. :)

Watch the Threadbanger's tutorial here. (Search "DIY dress form" on YouTube for more ideas if you don't like this one.)

I couldn't resist posting this.

2009-05-22T16:09:00.006-05:00

I've been eating like a broke college student this week because...well...I'm broke! So right now you'll find the bottom of my pantry full of packaged, "just add water" noodles. (I actually call it all Ramen regardless of the brand, but whatever.) Although I do believe these are horrible for you and ridiculously high in sodium, they're around .35 cents each. And when you have a grocery budget of $40 and have to get food for 2 weeks, you just have to bite the bullet and do it sometimes.

So, while at the store I saw two different brands of cupped noodles. Ya know, the kind with noodles, seasoning, dried peas, carrots and corn? Yuck! Anyway, I grabbed the one I was familiar with, but kept looking at the other brand that I wasn't familiar with. The photo on their box looked more appealing than the one on the box I was getting. Yes, sometimes I'm a sucker for buying things because of how the packaging looks. Damn you graphic designers! :)

Anyway, so one day this week I ate the one that I fell for because of the photo. Today, I ate the one I am familiar with. And that's when I realized...the one I have always bought over the years when I'm broke and desperate is by far better than the other, hands down! (Even if the picture on their packaging didn't look as good as the other guys.)

So, while bored at work, I created a little visual and decided to take a vote.

Which one do you prefer?

I chose the one on the right, Maruchan Instant Lunch. (I still can't help but call it Ramen.)

-P.S. For those what-so-ever concerned, I won't be broke forever. I'm just playing catch up from a few unexpected emergency expenses these past few months. I'll be back to eating normal food soon. haha

I love tips!

2009-05-22T10:25:00.004-05:00

No, not monetary tips, although if I was a waitress I'd love those too, but I'm talking about life tips. Anything that can help me and make life a little easier.

That is why I love this post by Underfunded Heiress. She used to be an Aesthetician, so I like to think of this as the inside scoop.

Sure, everyone has their own opinions and what works for one person doesn't always work for another, kind of like how the girl who cut my hair last talked me into buying $40 worth of hair products only to find that it did not do the miracles she claimed it would. But hey, you don't know unless you try, right?

And anything Burt's Bees is pretty awesome, so I'm on board with this and can't wait to splurge a little for these products so I can create my own at-home spa.

Click here to link to her blog post, Blemishes, Wrinkles and Dehydration, Oh My!

Click here to check out the Burt's Bees Website

Speaking of sewing...

2009-05-21T10:06:00.005-05:00

Giving credit to Heart of Light again, she spread the word about the $1 pattern sale going on at Joann's this weekend. And when these normally run between $11-$16, this is a great deal!

(click on images to go to the website)

Although I'm a beginner and probably need to start out making curtains or pillows or something, I can still dream that one day I'll be good enough to make these dresses. So why not rack up on cool $1 patterns while I can?!

Procrastination does not make perfect! (and sometimes the truth is ugly)

2009-05-20T09:55:00.006-05:00

Ready to hear a secret? Here goes...
I come from a pretty lazy family.

Because of this, the idea of filling up my time productively and making the most of every day was foreign to me. That is until I met a girl named Suzanne in the spring of 2000. Suzanne was a free spirit, artsy chic born to two former hippies who still burned patchouli in the house at night. She was one of those girls who constantly dreamed, thought outside the box, set goals and wanted to change the world. She had a fire in her that I was not familiar with at all. But I liked it.

Suzanne hated wasting time and she'd repeatedly tell you that. She couldn't stand it. Yes, every once in a while she'd just lounge around in pjs with her family watching a movie but even in her world that wasn't lazy, it was spending time with family. The rest of her time was working on art projects, taking classes to learn new things, coordinating bible studies (hippie style as I called it), writing songs, playing gigs, meeting new people, traveling, networking, joining organizations, creating ideas, reading, writing, or doing things for others. It blew my mind.

And as much as I'd like to be like Suzanne, I'm not. I find that I am a lot like what was modeled for me growing up. I work, I come home, I eat, and either spend the rest of the evening on the computer or watching tv, with the occasional get together with friends one night a week. Weekends are a bit different though. I try to keep my weekends packed and do stuff because I do hate to waste my weekends.

There is a point to all of this...I promise. :)

I'm sick of being lazy! No, I'm not the type that can be too terribly busy because I can't stay sane that way. I do need my down time. However, I'm sick of wasting my time, just like Suzanne always said.

When I'm at home on week nights, there is no excuse why I couldn't be pulling out my sewing machine and trying to learn how to sew. It's something I've always wanted to do. So why have I not been doing it? I'm wasting precious time. (I believe I've posted about this sewing dilemma before.)

I see so many blogs of people who are always working on something and spend a good portion of their day dedicated to that thing. Every time I see someones handmade purse, jewelry, stationary, curtains, scrapbooks and even clothes I think to myself "Why am I not doing this?". Most of these people even have a job, a spouse and children to take care of and yet they still make time to do these things. What's my excuse?

I hate looking back on my life even now and thinking that there is this one thing I always wanted to do and had all the time in the world a few years ago and never did it. And now I have even less time than before, and as life goes on my free time will get less and less and less. So why am I procrastinating?

It's time to change!

No, I don't want to be so busy that I'm overwhelmed and can't handle everything I've put on my plate, because I can't operate that way and it will just drive me crazy. But I can start small and set 1 goal for now and see how I do. I admit I've never been good at setting goals and acheiving them, but every day is a day to start over, right? If I want to be different, then I have to do something different, it doesn't just happen on it's own.

So here it is folks...goal no. 1 - Sew!

I'm a huge perfectionist and making mistakes is going to aggrevate the hell out of me and make me want to give up, but I am going to have to keep at it. Because only practice makes perfect. (Not that 'perfect' even exist, but you get the idea.)

Thankfully I have a ton of blogs out there to help me with inspiration:

...just to name a few.

If you have any suggestions, tips, advice, links or words of encouragement I'd love to hear it! I'm going to need all the help I can get to stay on task.

Once I get my s**t together, the ultimate goal is to make my own clothes. It's always been hard trying to find clothes for a 6'1 girl with a 36 inseam and other abnormally large porportions. :)

Coldplay Fan?

2009-05-19T10:46:00.003-05:00

I heard this on the radio last week and was reminded of it today while browsing a new blog (new to me that is), Fantabulously Frugal.

Coldplay is allowing their new album, Left Right Left Right Left, to be downloaded completely free. Click here to download.

I'm not a huge Coldplay fan, but I don't detest them either, and free is free!

Woof!

2009-05-13T16:16:00.003-05:00

I came across this post earlier and started day dreaming of a day when I'd have the time and the money to spend hours my kitchen making homemade organic treats for my man's pups. He is very much in love with his babies, Rosco and Lacy. Rosco is a hillarious English Bulldog and Lacy is a hyper Boxer. The two together are the hillarious odd couple. I'll have to take some pictures of them soon.

Well here is the recipe I plan on trying if I ever get around to it. Here's hoping...

photo via: The Sustainable Diet

Step-By-Step

2009-05-08T15:36:00.002-05:00

I am one of those people that prefers step-by-step instructions or formulas to do things. I like detailed how-to's I guess you could say. The more detailed the better.

Well, it's been a long while since I browsed through a beauty magazine and I haven't exactly been doing anything out of the ordinary to pamper myself lately, so when I came across this article today I knew I needed it. It's just little suggestions and tips like this that make me so happy.

And had anyone else ever heard of the Rooster Pill???

Read here...
10 Ways to Wake Up Beautiful

P.S. My date night went very well. He surprised me by taking me to The Melting Pot. I had never been there before but had always wanted to go. And it was more than I had ever dreamed. It was soooo good. So good in fact that I craved that meal as soon as I woke up the next morning. Yum! Too bad it cost so much, because I would be there at least once a week!

Date Night

2009-05-02T08:38:00.004-05:00

He told me last night that he wants to take me out this weekend, as in out on an actual date.

Later, after he returns home from partying with his neighbors at 1:30am, he calls.
"So I know where I'm taking you!"
"Where?"
"I was talking to the neighbors and I asked them where I should take you and they told me."
"You're so cute! You asked your neighbors where to take me?"
"Yep. And you're going to love it. I've never been to a place like this before. I'm making reservations right now on line. I've NEVER made reservations before...."

teehee!
I like when he does stuff for me that he's NEVER done before. Makes me feel special. :)
It's even cuter that he goes to hang out with his neighbors and talks about me. :)

I can't wait to find out where we're going. More importantly, I have to go find something cute to wear!!!

photo via: Le Love

T is for...

2009-04-29T16:41:00.006-05:00

So I drove to Knoxville this past weekend to visit the man. (I still haven't chosen his blog alias.) We had made a list of things we wanted to accomplish over the weekend and surprisingly we did every one of them.

Eat sushi

Drive to the mountains

Visit Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg

Go to a baseball game

Go shopping for a new patio set for his new patio that he built

Go with him to buy fish for his many fish tanks (this guy really loves fish!)

The mountains were beautiful. We looked at patio sets but didn't buy anything. And at the "fish store" he bought 2 Clown Fish, 2 Green Chromis, 1 crab and some algae. I'm learning more than I ever wanted to about aquatic life. :) But learning new things is fun, so I really can't complain.

The highlight of the whole weekend though had to be the baseball game. Knoxville has a double A team called the Tennessee Smokies. Great stadium, crowd of almost 7000, and amazing seats! About half way through the game we make the connection of the TS that stands for the team and the TS that are our initials. (He and I have the same initials. It's funny.)

We talk about the humor we find in this for a moment and then he gets this idea. He wants to go buy baseball caps with the "TS" on them for us both. He said my hat could stand for his name and his hat could stand for mine. I laughed, thinking he was joking. Turns out...he wasn't.
We wore our matching caps all the way back home and just laughed. Now when he wears it he tells me "I wore my Tara today." He's so cute. :)
Yes, we are fully aware we are dorks, but we're okay with that. haha

It was a great weekend!

Oh! Yep!

2009-04-22T09:14:00.002-05:00

This is where I wish I was right now.

Life has really been getting to me lately and I just need a vacation.

Camping on the beach would be more than lovely.

photo via: I Suwannee

Can't Wait To See It!!!!!

2009-04-16T23:33:00.001-05:00

She's Gone Country!

2009-04-14T13:19:00.008-05:00

...and it's all his fault! True, I live in Nashville, TN and did grow up on country music, but Nashville is a big city compared to where the rest of my family members live and I have always considered myself a city girl.

The past month or so I have spent walking around on farms and riding 4-wheelers. Who would have thought? I sure didn't!

P.S. I am completely aware that I said I was going to blog more often and have not been doing so. I hate to admit it, but it's amazing the things you let fall to the waist side when you all of a sudden have someone special in your life. My apartment desperately needs to be cleaned! :)

OMG!

2009-04-06T15:34:00.003-05:00

I had absolutely no idea what to title this post, so forgive me for the "OMG!". Since I couldn't think of a clever title, I just went with my reaction to the subject matter.

For 2 weeks now my new guy has been telling me about this gift he bought me. He was so excited and said he had never put so much thought into a gift before and that he was so proud of himself. (This was incredibly cute by the way.) Every day that we spoke on the phone he would mention this gift and try to give me hints as to what it could be. I honestly had no idea. His hints were so vague that I was completely clueless.

Saturday evening, after a 3 hour drive from Knoxville, he arrives at my apartment. He calls me from outside and tells me to go in my room and to not look out the window or come out into the living room until he said so. The anxiety was too much!

I'm sitting on my bed and I hear him open the front door. I hear him rustle around and then he appears in my bedroom doorway. After the hugs and kisses being glad to see each other he covers my eyes and leads me to the living room. I believe he counted to 3 and then uncovered my eyes. What I saw was this....

He bought me an Audrey Kawasaki giclee print!!!! (This is where the "OMG!" comes in.)

He knew Audrey Kawasaki was my favorite artist and has been for years. I even made him sit down with me one evening to look at her work on her website. He's not a fan, but he humored me.

Original pieces of her artwork cost thousands. A giclee print can cost between $100-$250 on ebay.

It's a 14x18, signed and numbered print called 'Two Sisters'.

My reaction was exactly how he expected it to be he said. I was so shocked! I think I literally sat down with it and starred at it for an hour. I couldn't believe it. I finally had my very own Audrey Kawasaki.

He did so well!!! I am so proud of him! :)

Weekend Bliss

2009-04-03T16:48:00.003-05:00

Wow, it has been a long week. I am sooo ready for the weekend!

This weekend I will be:

getting my eyebrows waxed (woohoo!) I am desperate for a good shape!
seeing Him Saturday afternoon, and every day after that until Easter!
wishing for good weather and no more tornadoes!
and just relaxing!

Hope you all have a good weekend!

photo via: Le Love

Feline Update

2009-04-03T12:03:00.003-05:00

I took Molly to the vet Wednesday morning. They looked her over and said she seemed healthy. They needed a urine sample to check for infection and of course her bladder was empty. So, I had to leave her at the vet all day while I went to work, hoping she wouldn't be too stressed or scared to do her business while there.
Around 2pm I get a call from the vet. They found crystals in her urine and think she has bladder stones? So they wanted to do an x-ray. (I began seeing dollar signs!)
An hour later they call me back with the results. Nope...she doesn't have them. Must be just an infection they said. So they gave me antibiotics to give her every night and they hope it'll fix the problem.
Vet bill: A lovely $270
I pretty much had a heart attack!

Bad kitty? Sick kitty?

2009-04-01T00:17:00.005-05:00

You see that one right there? That would be Molly.

Molly has always been "special". Not as smart, patient, and normal like her older brother Riley. But what she lacks in the head was made up for in her beauty. She has always been a pretty cat. Very prissy! See how she puts that paw out there? When both front legs are stretched out in front of her, she crosses them like a lady. It's the funniest, yet cutest thing.

Well, I've always had issues with Molly. I don't know if it's her "specialness" or her prissiness that causes her to have unusual bathroom behavior, but I have been putting up with it for 4 long, frustrating years. And this "mom" has about had it!

Lately she has been having even more unusual bathroom behavior than what is normal for her. From all the research I've done online she is either suffering from a Urinary Tract Infection, or she is pissed off at me for something I am completely unaware of.

Either way, I am sure you all know how horrible smelling cat pee is. God, it is horrible AND very hard to get rid of. And no matter how many times you spray, wash or deep clean, even if you can't smell it anymore, the cat can and will go right back to that same spot! Ugh!

Tonight was my last straw! When I found her new favorite place to potty, I lost it! I can't even tell you where it was because I am so embarrassed. It's awful and apparently she must have used that spot all day because there were multiple offenses!

So as I'm typing this, my apartment is filled with an aroma of citrus pet odor eliminator spray and laundry detergent. I am washing as much as I can right now and to be honest, I just washed the same load twice, just to give it everything I had. Although I wonder if my efforts will really even work.

So as Molly is very confused as to why she's locked in the bathroom with a fresh litter box and her food, and unaware of her trip first thing in the morning to the vet, I wanted to ask:

What is your best known remedy for cat accidents?

I've heard of something called Urine Be Gone? But when I raced to Wal-mart (the only thing open at 11:30 at night) they didn't carry it. So I purchased what they did have, some citrus (probably-won't-work) odor eliminator spray. But hey, I'm trying.

I've also heard of a homemade mixture of baking soda and lemon juice. This one I have not tested yet, but I am curious.

So yeah, for all you readers out there, I would love to hear what you have to suggest.

I am looking forward to reading the comments.

Until then...I have more laundry to tend to. (sigh)

And I hate to admit it, because I don't want to hear how bad of a person I am from all the extreme animal lovers out there, but I'll probably be looking for a new home for Molly. I love her, but I have had my fill.

It Was A Good Weekend

2009-03-22T16:34:00.002-05:00

He went back home today. Home is 3 hours away. This is getting harder. I can't wait to hold his hand again.

photo via: Le Love (check it out!)

Fun In The Mud

2009-03-20T13:51:00.007-05:00

This, my friends, is quite possibly the most "redneck" photo of me I have ever seen! I mean come on, me standing in mud, the back of a truck and a beer can? haha But I do live in Tennessee, so....

My guy decided to invite me along on his 4-wheeling adventure last weekend with his buddies. Cute, right? (He happens to absolutely love the picture above, which I find strangely odd, but whatever.) :)

Here are five things I didn't expect:

The mud! (I knew I'd get a little dirty, but woah! This photo was taken mid day, which means you should have seen me when we left that evening.)

To feel like such a redneck. haha

To actually learn to ride a manual 4-wheeler. Shifting gears was easier than I thought.

That after 3 loops around the "track" I attempted a jump all on my own. (You should have seen the looks on those guys.)

To have so much fun!!! It brought out that tom-boyish little girl in me that hadn't been seen in quite a while.

So since we all had so much fun, we're going to do it again tomorrow. And I'm actually really excited about it! haha

I wonder what's next...

Things I Love

2009-03-18T16:34:00.004-05:00

There are three things in this photo that I love:

Large, stand-alone bathtub. (I prefer claw foot.)
Exposed brick on the interior walls.
Big windows with lots of natural light.

Yes, I wish I was there right now.

photo via: Apartment Therapy

I'm back.

2009-03-13T22:57:00.005-05:00

My assignment is to continue blogging, no matter what. So, here I am. I'm back. Let's see if I can keep it up.

Spring is almost here. Although every year the weather gives me more reason to be concerned. One day it's 80 degrees and the next it's 40? What is going on?

I am currently taking a photography class which is awesome. I can't wait for the weather to brighten up so I can not only go practice what I've been learning but also get out my Holga camera and play! (Thank you sister!)

There's a new man in my life (a big reason I've been M.I.A lately) and I'm ridiculously happy. He makes me smile every single day. We live 3 hours away from each other so it's rough, but we're making it. He'll be here tomorrow and due to work he'll be here for possibly 11 days. I am soooo excited! :)

Everything else is pretty much the same.

So there's the quick catch up. More goodness to come...

photo via ffffound.com

You Can Do It

2009-02-20T11:35:00.004-06:00

Look at this! I thought it was so cleaver and beautiful that I just had to share. As RVA would say "Holy Cute!"

Rose ice cubes! It's a great way to add more sophistication to any bridal shower or wedding, but what is the greatest of all is that now you can think of a million other things you could put in ice cubes to help with any theme you have going.

For the link to this project idea you can check it out at Casa Sugar. (Although, I think this idea is pretty self explanatory.)

photo via: Casa Sugar

Message

2009-02-19T14:29:00.004-06:00

I have been getting a message today, a message for my soul. It's been pretty loud and clear. It's quite shocking how it's popping up everywhere today in the most unexpected places.

I'm in a transition of change right now, I'll tell you that much. Something is going on. It's scary yet exciting at the same time.

photo via: ffffound

Reality Check

2009-02-12T09:13:00.003-06:00

If you've never been over to Noble Pig and read Cathy's blog, you are truly missing out. She is such a great story teller/writer. Hence why she gets paid to do it I suppose. Man, I am so envious! :)

So she mentioned on her blog today about a story she had written over at One for the Table. Naturally I checked it out and as usual, I was not disappointed.

Her Valentine's Day story is hilarious. Maybe it won't be to everyone, but it especially was to me just because I could really relate to it.

Check out 'Cupid's Arrow Misses Target' here.

Pressure

2009-02-10T22:57:00.005-06:00

The photo above pretty much describes how I've felt lately. So much coming at me at once and not feeling equipped to handle it.

Luckily in times like this I have a support system I can gather up and lean on. Unfortunately, I probably lean on them a little too much, but they still love me.

It's moments like these, when you're calling someone to cry every single day, or just sitting down and talking about what you're going through, that you realize just how blessed you are. You have people in your life that are willing to listen and they truly do care and want to help. It's amazing to me.

I laid in bed last night literally overwhelmed with emotion because I realized just how loved I was. I felt soooo unworthy. My parents, my sister, my friends....everyone has really come through for me and I can't thank them enough. Nothing I could do could repay these people in my life enough for the countless hours they have spent listening to me sob or express my thoughts/fears.

If you're reading this, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Luckily, this too shall pass and I'll be smelling the roses again. And I cannot wait, because I am sick of the rain! :)

Me Time

2009-02-03T23:12:00.005-06:00

Tonight I finally sat down and enjoyed some much needed Me Time.

I lit a candle, made some green tea, grabbed my journal, a book, turned on the Garden State soundtrack and curled up on the couch. Ahhh.... I had been needing this!
(I recall this was the best way for me to write essays in school because it was the only true way I knew how to clear my head.)

I have begun reading Beauty for Ashes by Joyce Meyer. It was a book my mother gave me several, several Christmas' ago and, like many of my other books, has remained on the shelf collecting dust.

It's a great book about overcoming abuse and a dysfunctional past and tries to help you begin your emotional healing. Granted, it is a Christian book and is covered in scripture, and I know I have a lot of friends that don't care for that stuff and may scoff at the fact that I'm even reading it. For me it's okay though. I was brought up in a God believing family, so honestly reading this book is like talking to one of my family members. I can take what I need and leave the rest as I see fit. For me it's all about the message behind it. The lesson to be learned.

So I read some chapters of that and then wrote in my journal for a while to get out some of the stuff that has been going on with me lately. I'm really glad I did that too because it has been too long since I truly wrote in a journal. I used to journal almost every day, but these days I find myself too busy, or I pick up the phone and vent to a friend or family member. Tonight, I wanted to write out what I was going through and try to figure things out on my own...or at least attempt to start. Again I'm really glad I did. My sister has always reminded me that it's often helpful to get it out on paper and see it for yourself.

All in all, it was a good night. I might just do it again tomorrow.

Drool!

2009-01-30T10:11:00.002-06:00

OMG! Comfort food to die for over at Noble Pig today! I seriously almost drooled!

If you're looking for ideas for a Super Bowl party this Sunday...look no further!

Click Here!

Shoot

2009-01-28T19:21:00.002-06:00

So I start another photography class next month. I say "another" because this will be the 3rd attempt. The first one I took in high school wasn't all it should have been. Our teacher was more occupied with other things than to teach us much. I may not blame him though. He probably got so sick of kids just taking his class as an elective and not because they were interested in photography that he gave up.
I took another class in 2002 at the community college here in town. That didn't last long, for a million different reasons.

So, thanks to my new creative friend Liz and her passion to keep learning, I'm giving this love of photography another try. Here's hoping it goes better than expected! Sometimes I just need another like minded, creative, passionate person to be around that can inspire me to not give up.

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I'm that person that when things get tough, I bail. So when I get frustrated at stuff like not understanding the technical aspects of a camera, I put it back in my closet and let it collect dust.

Maybe this time will be different.

One day, I'd love to shoot photos like hers...

Ginnie Johnson

My Favorite Movie

2009-01-23T18:15:00.004-06:00

Garden State

Andrew Largeman: Let's just talk about good stuff.
Sam: Good stuff?
Andrew Largeman: Yeah. Glass half full shit. What do you got?
Sam: I got a little buzz. I got that.
[laughs]
Sam: What you got?
Andrew Largeman: I got a little buzz going
[pauses]
Andrew Largeman: and I like you.
[Sam, embarassed, giggles]
Andrew Largeman: So there's that. I guess I have that.
Sam: I can tap-dance. You wanna see me tap-dance?
Andrew Largeman: I would love to see you tap-dance.

Names

2009-01-21T21:03:00.004-06:00

So I saw this on Rockstar Diaries today and my eyes lit up.
Apparently this is where they go for Key Lime Pie in NY.

Why did my eyes light up?

Because this is my Bubby...

I've never heard anyone say that name before. My sister and I started calling him that when our "baby" in a baby voice kept coming out "bubby".

It stuck.

We like it. :)

1-20-09

2009-01-20T14:11:00.002-06:00

I needed this today:

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek."

-President Barack Obama

(sigh)

2009-01-18T22:12:00.003-06:00

There's something in me, fighting to get out. It just doesn't know how.

photo via: ffffound

Have a good one!

2009-01-14T20:29:00.002-06:00

Yawn!

2009-01-14T08:38:00.004-06:00

I am so, so, so very tired today. I had almost 7 hours of sleep last night, so I don't know why I'm so exhausted. As I drove into work this morning I found it very challenging to stay focused because my eyes were so heavy. So naturally the very first thing I did when I walked in the office was pour myself a cup of coffee (loaded with creamer of course!).

You know you're tired when you're slumped down at your desk, starring at your coffee hoping that you can absorb the caffeine through your eyes instead of putting the energy into drinking it, sip by sip.

My name is Tara and I'm a Blog Addict!

2009-01-13T13:52:00.002-06:00

I came across another one today that I just fell in love with...

Hey! Jenn Renee

I wonder if there is a support group out there for people like me? :)

Love

2009-01-12T14:36:00.002-06:00

I am in love with the engagement photos of Jo (from A Cup of Jo) and her fiance Alex. I don't want to steal them and post them here, so please go check them out. They are lovely!

http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/2009/01/our-engagement-photos.html

Good Stuff

2009-01-08T12:20:00.002-06:00

It's only day 8 and I've already had good madness, kissed someone that thinks I'm wonderful, and surprised myself. :) I hope it continues!!!

Found at : Design Crush

Goodbye 2008!

2008-12-31T09:31:00.003-06:00

New Years Eve Checklist:

awesome party (check)
party date (check)
cute outfit (check)
cute accessories to compliment outfit (check)
alcohol (check)
camera (check)
prepared to sleep wherever i land (check)

Looks like I'm good to go! :)

I have been waiting for this night all month. My friend Liz called first dibs on throwing a party at her house this year. She purposely sent out invitations at the end of November to nab as many people as possible. It was a good plan. :) I think we have all been stupidly excited about this party. So I can't wait! So yeah, this year is going out with a bang and it's all thanks to Liz!

If this party is any indication of the year to come, I am very excited. I'll be with new friends, a pretty cool date, and having a blast. What more could I ask for on a night like this?

Now to bring myself good luck I have to 1) wear red underwear, 2) drink champagne with grapes in it and 3) eat black eyed peas on New Year's Day. :)

Goodbye 2008!
Hello 2009!!!

Currently Listening To:

2008-12-30T15:34:00.005-06:00

The Shore

I love it when I find music on my computer and/or mp3 player (no, I never bought an ipod) that I had forgotten about, and realize that I still think it's good. A lot of music I have downloaded or bought usually ends up in the "no longer like" category due to it being a trend at the time or media hype or whatever. So when I find old music that years later I still enjoy, that is truly a treat.

The Shore released their debut, self-titled album in 2004. I think they opened up for Rachael Yamagata at 3rd & Lindsley that year which is how I found out about them. My sister and I loved Rachael Yamagata and went to see her when she came to town. That was such an awesome show!

Anyway, after hearing The Shore I bought their cd. Wow, I don't think I've been able to say I bought a cd in years! :) I of course played it out and then moved on to other music and forgot about it.

Well since I now bring my mp3 player to work while I mindlessly do my job (that's another story in itself) I put it on shuffle and there came The Shore. I fell in love all over again. I love their sound!

So, I am currently listening to The Shore's 2004 album, but I hear they have another album "Light Years" that came out this year, but only released digitally. So if you haven't heard of The Shore, check them out on myspace at www.myspace.com/theshore.

Holga Heaven!

2008-12-25T14:08:00.001-06:00

I got a Holga camera!
I got a Holga camera!
I got a Holga camera!

My sister knows me oh so well! :)

Merry Christmas!!!

a lovely DIY idea

2008-12-23T11:01:00.002-06:00

I love when I come across cute and easy DIY ideas. Because this girl does not do complicated...

So this morning I came across this lovely idea at The Small Object that I would love to try someday. (click on link below for the exact post) Too bad I didn't find this a month ago, or I could have come up with some cute Christmas gift ideas. Oh well, there's always birthdays, next years Christmas, or just because gifts. :)

Make Your Own Steno Pad

?!?

2008-12-21T12:41:00.003-06:00

I was going through my mail today and discovered a mass mailing, addressed to me, from the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Ya know, those ones that ask you to donate to their cause and give you tons of address labels to make you feel guilty? :)
I'm all for giving to causes and charities, but that's besides the point here.
This mailing was a little unusual to me. See for yourself...They gave ME a nickel and said this nickel can help save a child's life.

THEN WHY DID YOU GIVE IT TO ME?!?
If a nickel can save help save a child's life, then why are you just giving them away?!

I can't imagine how many of these letters went out with nickels in them. I know at my work I send out about 3000 letters a day. So if they were doing at least that, which I'm sure they are sending out more, then that's like $150.

Am I the only one that thinks this doesn't make sense?

Do you follow me?

2008-12-19T11:59:00.002-06:00

So I've been noticing the nifty little trend of "Follow This Blog" side bars on several of the blogs I frequent. I've already begun to add myself to some of my favorites so I can 'follow' them. Won't you do me the same favor? :)

Just scroll down to the bottom of my right side bar and you'll find the "Follow" section. Just add yourself if you'd like and...happy stalking, errr, I mean following. :)

Forecast: Foggy & Wet

2008-12-18T16:03:00.010-06:00

It's been nothing but foggy and wet here this past week. It's definitely a bit of a damper on the spirit. Not to mention it's made me realize I need to invest in some new windshield wipers! None-the-less, the one thing I can think of where fog might be welcomed is for taking photos.

I've been checking out a local blog called Nashvillest lately and she's been featuring some very cool photos from local artist that best captures how it's looked around here these days. Today I came across a photo that took my breath away. Allow me to share:

This beautiful piece of art is the work of Chris Wage.
Naturally I had to stalk him and go on a link frenzy finding out who this Chris Wage was and what other stuff he had done. Just my luck, he had a web page, a Flickr account and a blog. I was elated as I found more photos like these and could not wait to share them with my friends (You). So I emailed him, asking for his permission to feature his photos and here you go!

One thing you may not know about me is that I love downtown Nashville. I've sat in the isle of bookstores flipping through the books of photos documenting the history of Nashville. (I love history too.) So when I come across a great photo of my hometown, I get so excited.

Enough about me though. Here are the rest of the photos in the series that Chris took this week. They're amazing!

And here is one of the Shelby Street bridge that I love just as much, although I don't think it was taken on the same night, just to clarify.

photos via: Chris Wage

SHE WON!

2008-12-17T08:41:00.005-06:00

YAY! My favorite player, Michelle, won!!!She looked amazing in the red dress she wore on stage. I was so happy for her. And yes, I cried. :)

I can't wait to see where this whirlwind of fame and fortune are going to take her.

You can check out my old entry here from last week, where you can see her photos from when she arrived at the ranch and when she left.

P.S. I don't think I'll be tuning in to watch next season. My weakness is old people and when they showed the previews of the oldest couple being on the next season and something bad happened to that old man....oh no! I can't handle it. So I don't think I'm going to watch it. I'll take a season off since I cried so much during this one. :)

Holiday Eating

2008-12-15T12:57:00.002-06:00

What would the holidays be without food, right?

I did so well this weekend, eating right and working out both Saturday and Sunday...only to come to the office on Monday to find food everywhere! I forgot it's Snarf Fest. When we bring in food every day this week for everyone to eat on. I tried resisting temptation, but after a while, those chocolate desserts start calling your name.

I gave in...and now feel guilty. :)

Guess I'll be putting in more time on the treadmill.

Life is nothing but checks and balances...

My 100th Post!!!

2008-12-12T08:17:00.005-06:00

This is officially my 100th post at Create Yourself. I am very excited about that. Thank you to everyone that reads my blog, and a special thank you to those who leave comments. I love comments! I know I have taken a few long breaks in between posts and even at times have gotten a little dark and depressing, but thank you to those who keep up with me and stick it out. I love you! :-)

In other news, it SNOWED!
I have a new job now and I'm 30 minutes away from home, so I actually got to experience a lovely snow fall. In the valley I live in, this is rare to see. These are the very blurry cell phone pictures from last night as I was leaving work.

I was sooo happy. As I left work I swear there had to be an inch of snow on my car, and it was coming down fast and in huge flakes. And being that I live in Middle Tennessee, you should know that we don't know how to drive in rain, let alone snow! So what is supposed to only take me 30 minutes to get home took an hour and a half! Luckily the snow made all things forgiven and I wasn't mad at all. I did see something very odd though. An ambulance was headed my way, lights and sirens on and it was trying to get through traffic and wasn't having much luck, so it decided to cross the concrete median....and it got stuck! That was a sight to see. I was just hoping that where ever they were going was being taken care of and that no one was actually in the back of the ambulance needing to get to the hospital.

And of course, I was very disappointed when I came down the hill and into my little valley I call home to see NO SNOW AT ALL! How did I just leave what felt like the north pole to arrive at this??? What a bummer!

So this morning I wake up, no snow in sight so I get ready and head to work. Sure enough, get out of the valley and it's a winter wonderland! I took the back roads and the sights I saw were so beautiful that I wished I had brought my camera with me. Barns, evergreen trees, horses, cows, tractors...all covered in a beautiful blanket of white. (Well the animals weren't covered, but they were out there trying to find breakfast that wasn't frozen solid!)

Maybe if there is still snow out there when I leave work today, I'll get up tomorrow and drive back out there on my day off and take some photos. That would be really nice.

Hope everyone is having a good Friday!

Craft Time!

2008-12-11T09:11:00.004-06:00

I'm one of those people that loves crafts, but if it ends up looking homemade then I'm not going to bother making it or I'll do something with it after I'm done, like hide it. I think that's the perfectionist in me. I have painted many a canvas in my day, drawn beautiful pictures, made lovely craft projects, but you would never know this if you walked in my home because I don't keep them out in view. I have either given them away to friends and family or stashed them away in a box in my closet. It's sad really. I see so many people making their own art to decorate their home with and I love it. And yet when I attempt it, I see the imperfections, know that I made it, and put it away. I am not sure why I do this.

What's really interesting is that I was talking about something similar to this yesterday with my sister and also with my friend Liz. I had someone tell me Tuesday that they were really surprised to hear that I was passionate about interior design because they had never heard me talk about it before. And then Liz was shocked to hear that I had an SLR camera at home. She thought I only shot with my small digital. Apparently, I may not be all that much of an open book as I thought I was.

When it comes to my passions or my interest, I don't talk about them much. If I died today and someone, besides my family, went through my house, they'd probably wonder if they knew me at all. Boxes and boxes of photographs that I've taken over the years due to my love of photography, an SLR camera and accessories stashed in a case in my closet somewhere collecting dust. Boxes of art supplies and art projects literally stacked in the very back of my closet appearing as if I don't touch it at all...but I do. A guitar that no one knows I pick up and attempt to play almost every other night. A baseball glove and softball that is sitting on my shelf in my bedroom, also collecting dust. I love to play catch. I think it's one of those past times that I remember with my dad when times were good. I just don't know anyone else who enjoys that so I don't ever say anything. And my collection of art that I've collected over the years...spending way too much money for handmade pieces of art off the internet because I love it. :)

Yeah, I guess I just don't talk about this too much with friends. I'd like to think that I talk about it more here than anything though. If you went through old posts you'd good sense of what I'm into. I guess I'll try to work on this more.

Wow, I believe I just rambled on and on about something that was not even the intention of this blog entry. What I wanted to really talk about was this...

SNOW GARLAND!

I came across this lovely craft project over at Design Crush. She got the idea from Evie-S and they in turn got the idea from Craft Stylish. I love it. I think it's perfect for the holiday party Liz is hosting this year and so we plan on making it together to decorate her home with.
All you need is white floss and 1 inch, white, garage sale stickers. Go to Craft Stylish to check out the step-by-step tutorial if you need it.

They are beautiful, aren't they? I cannot wait to see how they turn out when Liz and I make them. I'll be sure to post some photos.

I love a good craft project! And this one won't be in my home, but in hers, so in some way I justify it. I'm weird...

Hope everyone is having a good day!

photos via: Craft Stylish

Speaking of babies...

2008-12-10T11:15:00.008-06:00

...I cry like a baby every time I watch Biggest Loser. Well, not every time, but just this season. I don't know what it is about this Family season but it has really pulled at my heart strings.

Every Tuesday night I come home from work, make dinner and wait for 7pm. Usually I'm in my pjs, on the couch watching and balling my eyes out. There have been a few times that I'm up on my treadmill though, walking with them.

If you haven't been watching this season, you have truly been missing out.

Next Tuesday is the live finale! I am soooo excited. I went online to vote for Heba last night, only because I think it would be cool for it to be all girls this season in the finale AND because I think my favorite player has a better chance at winning if she's up against Heba.

Who's my favorite player, you ask?

Yep! It's Michelle! This whole season I have been Michelle and Colleen fans. Since Colleen got voted off, and what a sad night that was, I have been pushing for Michelle. These girls are amazing! Truly inspiring.

Here is what Michelle looked like at the beginning of the show. She lost 80 pounds in 12 weeks! So amazing!

I cannot wait for the finale! If you haven't even watched 1 episode of this season, at least watch the live finale next Tuesday night (12/16). They'll bring the whole cast back and it is truly jaw dropping to see everyone's before pictures and then see how they look now and how they did it.

Geesh, I'm not obese by any means, but I do want to lose about 30 pounds and I would give anything to be on that show! I know they wouldn't let me though because if in 12 weeks I could lose 80 pounds...I'd look sickly and that wouldn't be good for ratings. haha

Hope everyone is having a good day!

photos via: Biggest Loser

The Stork Has Been Busy!

2008-12-09T10:29:00.006-06:00

Is it just me, or is it raining babies? :)

So many people out there in blogland that I follow on a daily basis are having babies:

Marta of Marta Writes had her little bundle of joy, Benji, not too long ago.
Natalie of 100 Percent Cottam had Simon recently as well.
Dee-Dee of Whatever Dee-Dee Wants... had Brody 1 month ago.
Ali Edwards is pregnant, along with her sister, Jessica.
i Love Life just had a baby, Pilot, and is now preganant with baby #2! :)
Nicole of Making It Lovely is having a girl!
My very own friend, Kat, had her baby girl Alison in May.
And I know 2 girls, Sheena and Sara that are both having girls in February. Sheena is naming her baby Aubrey and Sara is naming her girl Harper.

Wow! That's a lot of babies. Honestly, I feel like as soon as I wrap this entry up I'll think of more.

I guess I should be thankfull that I wasn't drinking the water! :)

Oh, and I was right. There are 2 more ladies here at work that are pregnant. Geesh!

Well, having a baby is no where in my near future, so in the mean time I'll post pictures of my adorable cousin Dominic. He's actually my cousin's baby boy, and I am not sure what you would call his relation to me. I catch myself calling him my nephew, but I know he's not that. So for now I'll settle on "cousin" until I hear otherwise.

Here is his blog debut...

He is such a cutie! :)

Hope everyone is having a good day and if you're being paid a visit by the stork, leave me a comment and let me know. This could be funny. :)

Thanks to all you mommas out there for helping make our world go round I guess.

A Healthy Thanksgiving?!

2008-11-26T11:51:00.004-06:00

So I am addicted to Biggest Loser on NBC. Love it, love it, love it. And this season has been especially good. Sure it's the crazy drama that I hate that is sucking me in and has me tuning in every Tuesday night, but oh well. I cry with these people, laugh with these people and get mad with them. It's crazy. And what I love is that it's all about being healthy and losing weight. The transformations are remarkable each week.

Anyway, if you didn't catch last night's episode, the famous chef Rocco taught how to cook healthy alternatives to your favorite Thanksgiving dishes. I don't know how it tasted obviously, but man did it look good...especially that turkey.

So here's the link to the recipes for your viewing. Unfortunately they don't have photos though. I don't know about you, but I have to see a picture of a dish before I attempt to make it. It has to look appetizing to my eyes first before my stomach. :)

Well Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and keeps in mind just how miserable it feels to truly be full! :) haha

Yo Mamma!

2008-11-22T13:41:00.002-06:00

So my sister emailed me this link this week telling me that I'd laugh out loud. She was so right, that I had to close out of it half way through because I was at work and shaking because I was laughing so hard on the inside.

Enjoy!

http://www.newsweek.com/id/135882

Holding My Breath

2008-10-16T21:09:00.003-05:00

Well, I started my new job at the ER Monday. The first day I was in orientation, but the last 3 days I have been on the floor. I honestly had no idea what I was in for. What an experience this has been.
I've been doing well and picking up rather quickly, although I do put a lot of pressure on myself to get it all right, even if I have only been out there training/observing for 3 days.
I love wearing scrubs. It's the best part of the job. :)
I've seen women in labor, people bleeding, and patients vomiting at my station. It's been a crazy ride so far. And 12 hour shifts in the ER go by super fast. I never even feel like I'm there that long.
Things I hate are seeing just how much sickness there is in the world...and I'm only in 1 hospital, in 1 city, in 1 part of the country. My heart can't even fathom multiplying the numbers I see into millions and millions more.
Seeing a woman come in due to complications from her thyroid cancer and sending her back only to see her husband and their 3 young children come in an hour later looking for her all worried. Seeing a man with leukemia come in with his wife and while in the waiting room she reads him passages from The Bible. A mother crying in the waiting room because her son was just in a car accident. Seeing a daughter bring in her ill father on a stretcher and informing me that he has requested to not be resuscitated if he does pass away...
It all breaks my heart. I teared up so many times today. Once I even had to excuse myself to the restroom. I wonder if I'm truly cut out for this job?
It only gets worse too. Once I'm done training as the "Registration Specialist", I move to the back where I'll be going into patient rooms to obtain insurance information. Can I really handle doing that when a family has just lost a loved one?
I'm really worried. My heart is too big for this job.

The other thing I really hate about this job is registering people in who are in pain or concerned about their wellbeing or maybe their baby's if they are pregnant and I have to send them to the waiting room because the ER is too full. I can't tell you how many women I have seen come in within the past 3 days that are pregnant and bleeding and they sit in the waiting room almost all day and I can do nothing about it. It kills me. These young ladies walking up to me crying, holding their newly forming bellies and asking why it's taking so long and why they haven't been seen ets to me every time. They don't realize how badly I want to take them right back there and demmand that they be checked out and sent home with peace of mind. But alas, it's the ER and it goes by level of severity. (The sucky part is that every single person, understandably so, feels that they are at a high level of severity and they are really worried.)

God....I wish I could just fix it all and make it better for everyone.

So I come home to my single one-bedroom apartment, sit down at my computer, start drinking a beer, lights are out, no sound, my heart is breaking, my mind is racing and I just don't know what I'm going to do about....everything.

Life sucks and then you die.

::sigh::

2008-10-06T22:58:00.005-05:00

I'm tired of driving to a fast food restaurant, for a late night snack, by myself.
I'm tired of wondering what rental movie only I want to see.
I'm tired of rolling over in bed at night realizing no one is there.
I'm tired of only my things pilling up on the bedroom dresser and night stand.
I'm tired of not needing to clean up the kitchen because no one is coming over.
I'm tired of only my shoes being by the door.
I'm tired of having such a pretty balcony and no one to sit out there with at night.
I'm tired of having only my parents to go out to dinner with.
I'm tired of cooking for one.
I'm tired of changing my oil and washing my car and only my dad being proud of me.
I'm tired of being the only single girl out of all my friends.
I'm tired of spending most of my evenings online.
I'm tired of seeing and reading about people my age getting married and having babies.
I'm tired of being lonley.

Thoughts

2008-09-17T14:24:00.002-05:00

My mind is racing right now. Which is odd because just a few moments ago I was laid back, relaxed, cool, calm and collected. Right now.....not so much.

Maybe because once I stopped spending my day emailing my friends...I got down to business...and "hello!" there's that stress I forgot I had lingering around.

Crap!

For those of us still here at work...we have all collectively agreed that we are only here physically. Mentally...we left as soon as they gave us our lay-off notices. Which is horrible because we have 2 weeks left and none of us have the desire to work what-so-ever. I might have well kissed mine goodbye because I haven't seen it since.

Thanks to a friend I did get a good job lead and my interview was yesterday. As much as it sounded great...after letting it process, I am now nervous. Can you see me working in the ER of a hospital dealing with crisis and trauma on a daily basis??? I'm starting to second guess it, can you tell?

I don't know what I'm going to do. I could take this job at the ER, admitting patients in their time of crisis....but the down side of the job is....dealing with patients in their time of crisis...
I don't get offended or mad easily....but that doesn't mean that I want people in my face freaking out and yelling and me having to tell them to take a seat in the waiting room and to get out of the hallways.....and out of my face.

Wow...I'm scared.

Everything else in my life is looking up. Details I'd share if I didn't want to jinks it. HAHA

I can be so supersticious sometimes.

So yeah...it's just work that has me stressed. Working here until my last day and trying to find work elsewhere. Hating it....

Instead

2008-09-11T11:57:00.002-05:00

Instead of job hunting, like I should be doing, I'm Christmas shopping online. (Just window shopping of course.)

Seems so backwards being that if I can't find a job I won't be able to Christmas shop, but whatever.

My heart just isn't in it.

I hate job searching. Everything sounds exactly the same and pays too little.

I think I just keep waiting for something to fall in my lap.

Ha.

Good ol' Apathy!

2008-09-03T15:25:00.002-05:00

Hello.
I have been away for some time, hiding out in a dark hole called apathy.
Ever since I got word of losing my job, my mind has seemed very unfocused, and uncaring.
I have felt very detached lately.
Maybe it's just how I deal with disappointments, I don't know.

Either way, I am doing okay.
My apartment is still a cluttered mess and I am still frustrated over not having it decorated the way I had pictured it in my dreams. But I'm working on it, slowly.
I purchased some amazing Pottery Barn bar stools for a steal of $90, only to bring them home and find out that they were too short for my unusually tall bar. My mom thinks I should keep them anyway, but there's something about trying to eat at a bar that is at your shoulder when you sit down that doesn't appeal to me. Call me crazy...
So I'm trying to resell them on craigslist but haven't had any takers. Which is so crazy because they are beautiful stools!!!!

I've been hanging out a lot lately, keeping busy with my new pal Liz. For those of you that don't know the story, she somehow found my blog and started leaving me comments. When we found out that we only worked 2 blocks away from each other we decided to meet for drinks. I can honestly say that it is rare to find a person you immediately click with the first time you meet them....but Liz was one of them. Thank God too, because I was getting bummed out about not having many friends. :) Now I'm making plans all the time and I love it. So glad she found me! You can read her blog here at 'You Can't Stay Quiet Forever!'.

So yeah, that's about all that is new. Apartment is still driving me crazy and I have yet to find a new job. September 30th is my last day here and I'm not looking forward to it. When you've been with a company for 4 years, it's hard to imagine what life is like without it. Hopefully, life will be good, if not better.

Well, I'm off. Hope everyone is having a good day.

Hopefully this apathy wears off soon.

I admit...

2008-08-14T16:46:00.002-05:00

I admit, I have developed a little celeb crush on Michael Phelps. :)

Blue

2008-08-11T15:52:00.002-05:00

When I'm in a mood like I'm in today, I try to tell myself not to write a blog because no one should be subject to my ridiculous venting and no one likes a party pooper. But, sometimes, my wanting to just get it out gets the better of me.

I have not been myself lately. A lot has been going on in one month. I moved, I stopped talking to someone who I thought I could never stop talking to, I made new friends, I have been trying to stay busy, I've been broke because of my move and charging up stuff on my credit card, I've been changing up some medication that I'm on which has been making me a little loopy, I've been trying to exercise and lose weight and I got my termination letter for work.

I'm just stressed.

On top of all this, my apartment is a complete wreck because I can't figure out where things should go or which style I should go with and therefore it's all in complete disaray, which is driving me insane.

I got my termination letter from work on Friday. My last day is September 30th. I am not looking forward to this. I've been at this company for 4 years and I hate starting over. Not to mention, my company pays ridiculously well and I'm really afraid that I won't find something similar out there. So I'm terrified.

My cat has started back with her old habits of using the bathroom on the carpet, despite the litter box being clean and it makes me about want to cry. I refuse to have a smelly apartment and don't know what I have to do to stop this.

And today I got a notice that some new activity has been posted to my credit report. When I checked it out, I realized it's a year old situation that I have been having with a doctor's office and they do not want to play nicely. I want to reach through the phone every time I'm speaking to their accounting department and strangle someone.

It just hasn't been a good month for me. I've been trying to act like everything is cool, but I think it all caught up with me today.

So yeah, I've just been a real stick in the mud. I'm sorry.

P.S. And if I don't find the perfect curtains for my bedroom, I think my head might explode. :(

Sneak Peak

2008-08-04T22:01:00.006-05:00

Okay, so it's not complete, but here is a sneak peak at my bedroom. You can see the headboard that was painted black and the new blue duvet set.
I'm still trying to come up with a way to fix the bed/headboard issue. As you can see, the headboard is tall and the bed is low. So there is an obvious gap. Right now because of the height difference, the two are unattached and the headboard is just leaning up against the wall. It's not great to look at but I guess it could be worse. So either I've got to find a bed frame that sits higher than 5 inches off the ground, find a bed frame that will fit bed risers, or cut the headboard somehow. Although I do prefer to raise the bed than to lower the headboard.

The other obstacle I have is that I have no idea what curtains to hang. In the first photo you'll see something up, but it's hard to see clearly with the sun shinning in. So I took a picture of the baseboard so you could see what's up now.I bought 2 different color sheer panels at World Market a while ago and hung them side by side to see which one looked best. Unfortunately, I am not crazy about either one. I love sheers, but let's face it, it almost defeats the purpose of a curtain. At night, if the blinds are open, you can still see in. As for the white panel, it does nothing for the room. Blends in with the wall. As for the aqua, I knew it wasn't going to be the same color as the duvet and that's what I was going for. I don't want the matchy-matchy look. But I'm not sure if the blue and the aqua really complement each other. So far, the visitors I have had haven't been crazy about it.

So I'm stuck. I want to avoid matchy-matchy, don't want anything dark or heavy because I like the natural light that comes in and want to keep it airy and light in there, and I'm afraid to mix-n-match patterns because of the odd pattern on my duvet set. HELP! :) Any suggestions? Send links and photos if you wish, because those always help!

As for side notes, ignore the lamp and ruffled bedskirt...these will be changed. Also ignore the fact that the curtain panels don't go all the way to the floor...I over estimated the height of the curtain rod. :)

P.S. I'm buying this Ikea chair from some guy off craigslist tomorrow, so I'm pretty excited about that. At Ikea it's $100, but I'm getting it for $80. He said it's immaculate! I'll post photos once the living room is viewable. haha

Surely I'm not the only one!?

2008-07-27T23:38:00.003-05:00

Do you perhaps have a list of things (activities, hobbies, etc.) that you want to do, have all the resources to do, and yet have not done them?

Ugh, surely I am not the only one. :)

I wish I was one of those people who wanted to do something, started researching it and reading about it and then just made it happen for them. However, I'm one of those people that gets an idea in my mind, researches it and reads partially about it and then...stops.

For example: Sewing. In high school I had decided that since I'm so tall and pants are so hard to find that I would be a lot better off if I just made my own. So I told my mom, found a sewing class and went out and bought all the supplies. And...after making my first skirt, I quit the class. All my supplies were put away and hardly to be touched again. Years later, my mom surprises me one Christmas with a sewing machine. I was so excited! I started reading up on how to sew, right away (since everything I had learned in the class 8 years earlier was completely void from my brain). I made a pillow or two...and put the sewing machine away...hardly to be touched again. Years go by, and again all my knowledge for the most part has escaped my cranium.

The old saying "If you don't use it, you lose it!" proves so true with me.

Well, here I am again, looking at sewing patterns in the stores and dreaming of making the perfect sun dress or pair of pants. This time I just so happen to be with my friend B in the store and he said "You've got to push yourself Tara! You just have to make yourself do it! Just like exercise." Aww yes, exercise...that other activity I have all the resources for and yet am not doing...

It's not rocket science. I know B is right. So why am I procrastinating?

I think I just get bored easily and have to constantly be challenged and entertained. If I'm not...I move on. Which is bad. I have never been one of those people who sought out a hobby or interest and learned the gratification of seeing it through.

I'm currently taking an art class at a local art college. I originally signed up because I was sooo interested in the subject and was determined to learn it. My first few classes were amazing. I was so on fire for it. I was ecstatic. Four classes and $215 later however, and I struggle every week just convincing myself to go. It drives me nuts. I hate that I am like this. The good thing is though that I only missed one class and am still pushing through. So maybe I'll actually see this one through to the finish, which is August 7. Then I can add that to the short list of things I've stuck with until the finish, high school and art class. Ha!

Anyway, all this is to say that I have a few things on my list that I am completely capable of doing, want to do, and yet just haven't done them. I hope this changes soon. It would be really nice to show you all one day the cool sun dress I made all by myself. :)

So what's on your list?

Word!

2008-07-24T11:11:00.003-05:00

Thanks to How About Orange, I visited Wordle and input my blog's url and vwhalla! This is a very cool creation made up of the words I use in many of my blog posts. I love it. Go check it out yourself and see what creation it will come up with for you! You can even print it if you wish.

Edit: I'll make the photo larger when I get home. I don't have fancy programs on my work computer to change it. :)

Adding It To My List...

2008-07-21T16:00:00.003-05:00

My eyes lite up when I saw this photo over at Design*Sponge. Being from the South, I love a good wooden porch swing. And to be able to have one indoors makes me completely estatic.

I don't know why I haven't thought of this before. Years ago, my friends and I would all go to this coffee house called JJ's Market in Midtown and they had one of these wooden porch swings inside. I'm sure I have a picture of it somewhere.

Man, I wonder if there is anyway, since I am on the top floor, to put one in my apartment. haha (Doubt it.)

I LOVE This Idea!

2008-07-20T19:18:00.002-05:00

Make your own indoor mini s'mores grill??? Could it get any better? :)

Make your own by reading all you need to do here.

And just last week I saw this recipe, S'mores on a stick!

Anyone hungry? I know I am.

Etsy Craving

2008-07-17T12:30:00.015-05:00

Here are a few of the things I'm craving from Etsy for my new place...

And I'm breaking my own rules here, but I'm thinking of doing a beach theme in my bathroom. BUT, a vintage beach look. Nothing super cheesy, just some vintage looking photos of the beach in white frames and a nice seafoam green or aqua color shower curtain. I am doing this because for some reason my apartment is reminding me of a beach condo, and so I thought it was fiting.

letterpress

2008-07-16T10:18:00.007-05:00

Browsing through many of my favorite blogs, I often hear a lot about letterpress. At first, I had no idea what letterpress was. Then, thanks to Elise, I came across a blog and actually saw what everyone was talking about and I realized that I did in fact know what letterpress was, I just didn't know that's what it was called. :)

I actually work right down the street from one of the oldest working letterpress print shops in America, Hatch Show Print. Once I put two and two together, I got really excited. Maybe I could take a workshop or class or something to become more familiar with the letterpress. That would rock!

Anyway, I wanted to take a moment out of my day to share with you all this lovely blog, Heart Handmade, and Elise's contribution to it about her letterpress experience. I thought it was very informative and even inspirational. I can't wait to someday try my hand at letterpress. I may even buy a few blocks just for decoration around my apartment. How cute it'd be to have a few blocks spell out something atop one of my bookshelves.

Hope everyone is having a great Wednesday. And don't worry, pictures of my apartment will be here shortly. Just have to recharge my camera batteries and finish unpacking. :)

::image via google search::

FINALLY!

2008-07-14T12:19:00.002-05:00

The move is over! All last week it was cloudy and rainy and didn't really get too hot. But of course, Saturday, moving day, it was the hottest day ever! Hot, humid, no breeze, and just awful. Everyone's clothes were just sticking to them and the guys were soaking wet. It was horrible. Thankfully though, I had some great people helping me move and they really got the job done.

I LOVE my new apartment. It's even better than I had envisioned. Tons of natural light, open floor plan, huge vaulted ceiling, and so far I haven't even had to turn on the a/c. It's so cold up here on the 3rd floor, which is very odd. Today I have the balcony door open and my 2 bedroom windows open and the ceiling fan going and it feels amazing in here. I always love having air circulating and natural light pouring in. I never even realized how dark and closed off my other apartment was until now. Man, I am thankful I moved. This apartment rocks! :)

The complex is in a beautiful valley with ponds and surrounded by beautiful hills. Being on the 3rd floor, my view is amazing. Hills, hills and more beautiful tree covered hills. I love Tennessee. :)

So the move is over, however the unpacking is not. I'm currently stuck right now trying to plan out my kitchen. Not sure where everything should go, but I'll figure it out.

Once I have everything in place, I'll be sure to post photos. I want to share it with all of you.

P.S. I just saw this country music video on tv and I just laughed. It was filmed on 2nd avenue downtown, right next to my work. He's standing in front of the courthouse. If you watch the video, my building is just off to the right (it's not shown though). The "bar" is actually a lobby to a building with condos in it. (Actually I think only 1 famous person lives in those condos. The 2nd level is always lit up with fancy neon lights and you can see guitars everywhere and a white baby grand piano.) When the couple stops next to a fence to get out from the "rain", it's my parking garage. And when they are in the car, that's either my building in the background or the one across the street from us. I find this so amusing. It's very interesting how they get things to look so ideal on camera. :) See the video here.

Amusing

2008-07-11T12:17:00.004-05:00

I think it's funny how I have been sporting this hair style since I was in highschool (at least 8 years) and I try to tell myself to stop doing it and start wearing my hair down more...and then I see this yesterday.

Apparently, it's a Trend Alert over at BellaSugar.com. Oh I cracked up! This is a hair style I have been trying to tell myself is awful and that i should stop doing it. And yet, it is soooo darn conveinant. I take my shower, throw it up in a messy knot and go. It's a love/hate relationship I have with my hair. :)

So apparently... if I keep doing it, I'll be "in style" now? hahaha

My now age-old, lazy, conveinant, in-a-rush, hair style is now a hot celebrity trend. Too funny!

The Wheels Are Turning

2008-07-10T13:56:00.003-05:00

I know I said that the last post was probably going to be my last until I was settled into my new place, but turns out I was wrong. That isn't a bad thing though, is it? :)

This week has been crazy, but in the best of ways. I have been extremely busy, and it's been great. The older I get the more and more I realize that staying busy is a good way to go about life. It keeps me from being idle and keeps me from sitting around obsessing about things that I usually can't do anything about anyway.

I was up last night until 2am packing away things in boxes. I was on a roll and determined not to stop. I boxed, taped, moved, organized, shreaded, grouped, and gave away stuff all night long. I think the best thing about moving is getting rid of stuff you don't need anymore. I have managed to create 5 trash bags full of stuff for Goodwill and a few big pieces that couldn't fit in trash bags. It feel so great to declutter my life, my home and help out others at the same time.

Tonight I take my cats over to my parents' place, where they'll stay for a few days while the move occurs, and I'm also going to be doing laundry, painting my dresser and packing some more. This may possibly be the most organized move I've ever had. (Also the most expensive!) Luckily though, some of my friends finally came through and I won't have to pay for professional movers afterall. So that's a relief.

So many things are on my mind right now other than my move though. Thanks to "L.C.", I've been making lists of things I want to accomplish. I know that Elise made a list on her 23rd birthday of things she wanted to accomplished before her 24th birthday and she's already begun crossing them off. However, my list is more random. Some I know I could accomplish in the next month, some in the next year, and some will be on my list for a long, long time.

I'll share with you what I have so far:

Organize photos and create albums.
Take the furniture making class at WCAD.
Take the sewing class at WCAD or NSA.
Build a cabinet to hide the cat's litter box.
Buy or make some really cool patio furniture.
Buy more art on Etsy.
Make homemade biscotti.
Cook at home more.
Buy a hand-held vacuum especially designed to pick up pet hair.
Start building up my wardrobe.
Stop wearing my hair up so much.
Create a morning routine.
Attempt Pilates.
Go out with friends more.
Send birthday cards to family members!!!
Recycle more!!!
Start cutting coupons regularly.
Abolish dry skin. (Stole that one from Elise.)
Sleep less!!!
Exercise more!!!
Visit Australia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Move to Australia??
Visit family members more often.
Be more dependable.
Pay off debt. :)
Get new car.
Adopt a French Bulldog.
Save hundreds of animals from kill shelters.
Love and be loved.

Yeah, and the list is just going to grow, and grow and grow.

It's a good day!

Have I mentioned that I hate moving?

2008-07-08T14:34:00.003-05:00

Not much to report. I've been painting my bedroom furniture and packing up the apartment. I have been having trouble finding help with moving though. Not many people feel like offering to help me. So, I've been thinking about paying some professionals, but it's hard when you don't know who to trust.

Have I mentioned I hate moving?

I probably won't be posting again until after I'm in the new apartment. So wish me luck!

I've been framed!

2008-07-02T13:37:00.008-05:00

So I saw this lovely photo of a cupcake shop over at Armelle blog, and instantly had an idea. What if I went to one of the local hardware stores, got them to color match my new duvet, and painted and hung some empty frames above my new headboard in the same color blue?

Or, my other favorite color is the tuscan orange. What about frames in this color?

I don't know. If I'm going for a calm, peaceful feel, I might want to stick with the blue. Either way, I'm excited about this because it's fairly cheap and easy. I mean all I have to do is collect a bunch of old frames (thrift store finds), and then get the paint and vwhalla! So even if I end up not liking it, I didn't really spend a ton on the project.

Man, I have so many ideas. Here is a cute DIY tutorial for a jewelry holder, from Whip Up. I am thinking of making a rather large one to put as my entryway right when you walk in the door to hold my keys and etc.

I ran across this photo today on Mixed Plate and laughed as I related instantly.
I love to create stuff and attempt projects but with the way the economy is these days and being on such a budget that I feel as if I can't even afford a trip to the local art supply store. These days it seems you have to either chose between if you'd rather eat that week or pay for gas.

::images via Armelle Blog, Apartment Therapy, Whip Up, Mixed Plate::

Yawn

2008-07-01T13:16:00.005-05:00

According to DearSugar, we don't need permission to take the day off to catch up on our sleep.

I can't tell you how badly I wish I had done that today. If you could only see me right now, sitting at my desk at work, you'd think something was wrong with me. There is...I'm TIRED!

::image via DearSugar::

What do you think?

2008-06-28T00:29:00.004-05:00

Again, when I move, the headboard, dresser and nightstand will be painted black.

New Headboard & A Book You Should Look At!

2008-06-27T13:14:00.005-05:00

So I am now the new proud owner of a headboard. I don't think I've had one since I was a small child (with the exception of those years with a daybed). I bought this large, Broyhill, solid wood headboard off of Craigslist last night for only $60. It was a steal! It just so happens to be stained in a cherry finish which matches my nightstand and my dresser (not pictured). However, I'm going to be painting all 3 pieces black next weekend. I can't wait! I'm sure I'll post before and after photos because by the time the pieces are painted, I'll be moving into my new apartment and I'll be wanting to show that off. So, I can now scratch "get headboard" off my To Do List. Woohoo! :)

My new blue duvet will be delivered either later today or Monday, so I'm excited about that as well.

In other news, I came across this post on Apartment Therapy today that really intrigued me. I would sum up what the post is about, but I'd just be reiterating what they're saying and trust me, they say it much better than I ever could. So please click on "this post" and check it out yourself.

I couldn't have said it better myself when AT said:
"If you watched the endless footage of flooding in the Midwest on television last night, you probably wondered - as I did - if this was a freak of nature or the shape of things to come. And then you might have thought - as I did - that if it IS global warming what the hell is going to stop it."

I worry more and more every day as I watch the evening news what this world is coming to. I wonder if there will even be a world for my children to live in. Should I start building my underground bomb shelter now? Ironically it'd be to protect me more from floods, dangerous UVB rays, low air quality and poisonous food more than it would be to protect me from a bomb. How weird that feels to say and yet, it's our reality.

What is this world coming to? And how are we going to rise up and stop it?

Things that make me happy.

2008-06-26T11:28:00.010-05:00

So I decided to bring my camera everywhere with me yesterday and take photos of things that make me happy. I stopped after the first two things because after that I forgot all about my little project. So although it appears not much makes me happy, I just forgot to photograph the rest. :)
1) McDonald's Sweet Tea. Yummy! I'm sure it's a southern thing.

2) The inside of Yogi Tea boxes. I love the henna look! I get inspired every time.

And as for the rest of my picture-less list:
3) Skipping lunch because you weren't all that hungry! I love that! :)
4) Wearing my new bright yellow top, even if it makes me look pregnant. hehe
5) Wednesday evenings, because that's the day I go to class!

Speaking of, I don't think I've made any mention of the class I'm taking this summer at Watkins College of Art & Design. It's a 9 week class and we're already going on our 4th week. I love it and love being in the art college environment. Once my class projects are done, I'll show you what I've been doing.

Alright, back to work I go...

Duvet Decisions

2008-06-18T11:14:00.011-05:00

I love decorating, I just hate making the final decisions. :) Can you tell?

Well, for the past several years now I have been living with duvet covers in the yellow color family. (Two different duvets, two different yellows.) Just recently, I bought the orange and white Andrea Kakel duvet from Ikea because I was convinced I would love it. Turns out I don't and apparently you get what you pay for ($20 = not the softest duvet in the world).

So I've decided to change it up a bit and have been on the hunt for a lovely peacock blue duvet set, since that seems to be my color of choice these days. I want something age appropriate (I'm over 25), romantic and yet fun. Can you get romantic and fun in the same duvet? :)

Anyway, I've searched and searched and searched and finally settled on Overstock.com for it's various selection and it's budget-friendly price. So here are a few selections. Some are more soft green than blue, so I might have to compromise there. Tell me what you think!

This one (above) is nice looking I think, but it doesn't provide the thread count, so that worries me. But it is 100% cotton.

This one (above) is obviously plain, but I could dress it up with pillows. It's 100% cotton sateen, 315 thread count. I don't know anything about sateen and I've heard thread count should be above 400. What do you say?

This one (above) would obviously have to come in the pale green because that blue looks too pale. It's 100% cotton sateen solid 600 thread count. That sounds better than 315tc, right?

Another thought I just had was that I could buy a plain white set and dye it in a peacock blue color. The only problem with that though is you never really know what color you're going to get. But that's a way I could go.

While at Target yesterday I saw a lot of cute decorative pillows that I could use to dress up which ever duvet I decided to get.

So which is your favorite?

::images via: Overstock, Google Image Search

The Great Chair Debate

2008-06-17T12:23:00.008-05:00

To be honest with you, I don't even know why I'm posting this. With the amount of time it takes me to write this, these items may be gone. So it appears hopeless, but oh well. I'd like feedback anyway.

In my new apartment I think I'll have to get rid of my loveseat and replace it with a nice chair. I'm fine with this, as long as I can find the right chair. So I've been glued to craigslist lately trying to find that perfect chair and nothing has really stood out to me just yet, screaming "I'm the one!". However, I did find a few unique pieces that I wanted to share and possibly get feedback on.

Here is a beautiful black velvet tuffeted chair that is gorgeous. BUT the fact that I have 2 cats doesn't seem to agree with black velvet. Would you attempt it? And if so, would you do anything special to avoid the cat hair collection? Besides vacuum the chair every single day?

Here is a lovely antique chair, but it's pink, and doesn't look as comfy as a modern chair. But tell me, do you know of any kind of dye you can put on fabric like this to change the color?

This is of course an Ikea chair. My sister has one, but she was smart and went with a neutral color. Although semi-comfy, I'm not sure if this is the way I want to go. But haven't completely made up my mind yet.

And last but not least, the craziest of all, the "I-don't-know-what-to-call-it" chair. It's ugly, I think we can all agree on that, but the frame of the chair seems to be solid. And it looks fairly easy to reapholster, correct? (This coming from someone who can hardly make a pillow.) I don't know, does it look like a project worth taking on? Are there even any slip covers out there for a chair like this? ...HELP!

Design Idea

2008-06-16T11:12:00.002-05:00

I give a big thank you to Jenny, who sent me this link this morning. She had a feeling that it was right up my alley and she was correct. I love finding inexpensive ways to decorate my home, being on a budget and all. And when it's inexpensive but doesn't look inexpensive...that is the best.

If you click here, you'll be taken to the Rachel Ray website where you can watch a video and learn how you can make an inexpensive backsplash for your kitchen. I'm sure you could use it in other areas of your home as well. And I love it. Maybe I can use this idea in my new apartment. (26 days and counting)

Dads

2008-06-15T14:05:00.007-05:00

I would like to take this moment to celebrate Father's Day by drooling over these sexy dads. (Yep, I said it.)

Mmmm...Gaven Rosdale. I drooled over you when I was a teenager, and I drool over you now!

Hugh Jackman...yummy!

And David Beckham. He's a 10 on the YUM Factor. ;)
(By the way, I am LOVING Posh's baggy jean look!!!!!!!!)

Happy Father's Day!

::images via Yahoo!

Refuge

2008-06-02T13:01:00.007-05:00

As you might have guessed it, I am crazy about Apartment Therapy(.com). I jump on line every day and check out what eye candy it has to offer me for design inspiration. I admit that I look at the photos more often than I read the articles. However, today their lovely outdoor photo caught my attention, and since I happen to be dreaming of creating a nice outdoor space of my own in my new apartment, I read.

This photo (courtesy of AT) makes me wish I was addicted to morning coffee. :)

The article: 'Where's Your Refuge?'

I found it funny that most people had the same answer I did. It's either an outdoor space or the bath tub. :) There's nothing better than sitting outside, sun warming your body, reading a good book or magazine and enjoying all the 'outdoor' noises and fresh air. Or laying in a tub full of hot water, some good music on, candles lit and completely escaping for about 30 minutes.

So, in the same fashion as AT today, I ask, where's your refuge?
(And if you bathe with music too, what's your music of choice? Mine is Sarah McLachlan.) :)

design - part 2

2008-05-29T19:20:00.006-05:00

Okay, if you go here (edit: link removed, sorry), you can view a virtual tour of one of the model apartments. It's not exactly the same one I'll be moving into, but the only difference is the number of bedrooms and bathrooms, the main living area is exactly the same. So, if you go view it, you can see exactly the space I'm dealing with! Here are the questions I have that you can ponder while you're looking:

Should I paint just the short wall with the fireplace, or the main large wall with the couch on it?
Is an accent wall too out dated? I just figured painting the entire space would be too much!
The "dining area" is going to be where my desk and computer go, so how would you lay it out? (I'll be using the kitchen bar as my dining area for now.)

As for the couch dilemma, I would love to find nice neutral color slipcovers. I have just never had any luck with finding the right fit for the couch I have. But maybe I'm just not looking hard enough. Here's my situation:

Most slipcovers I have seen look like this and fit couches like this:
But my couches are more like the following, with separate pillows for the bottom and the back.
So ideally, I'd want something that covers the frame, and then each seat cushion individually. (I can replace the back cushions without any problems.) So where would I find a slipcover like that?????

Oh and as for the 'learn how to' list the other day, I can already scratch off most of those. I looked up a biscotti recipe, bought my cats a scratching post, some cat nip and reversable tape for my sofa and the most obvious of all...I finally figured out how to make a blog header! :)

---Here's some more list for you---

Currently loving:

Design Crush

Currently hating:

People who don't show up to buy the thing you're selling on craigslist, after they told you they would.

Weekend Plans:

Go see Sex & The City movie!
Clean out closet and take old clothes to Goodwill.
Make the trip to the recycling center.
Go shopping with mom.
Try not to call boy-who-shall-not-be-named. :)

design

2008-05-28T17:40:00.007-05:00

Learn how to:

make biscotti
create a blogger header
get my cats to not scratch the furniture
decorate my new apartment

Since picking out my new apartment, I have been driving myself crazy trying to come up with a design plan. I guess I've been watching too much HGTV and TLC lately. Too many people moving into new places that already have a design plan and get to work on it before they even fully unpack. I'm so jealous. :)

Right now I have mostly hand-me-down furniture. Faded hunter green couch and love seat with faded purple piping. All light wood living room and office furniture. And my bedroom furniture is more of a cherry wood look.

I try to picture places I've been to before that gave me a good, warm, comfortable feeling. Of course, I always think of cute, hole-in-the-wall coffee shops with all eclectic, thrift store furniture. But that is the one design that scares the crap out of me. The idea of buying old, vintage, thrift store furniture creeps me out a little. I always wonder who sat on it and if it's really dirty and etc. :)

I'm not a huge modern design gal either. I'm not big on the sterile, stiff look that gives you the feeling you might break something. I like decor and furniture that makes you just want to walk in, kick off your shoes, and lay down. I'm the kind of girl that likes to kick her feet up on the furniture, sit on the coffee table or sit cross legged on the floor.

So I have been busy, spending hours on design blogs, trying to find inspiration for a partially fresh start. I'll still have most of the same furniture, but I will have to eliminate some because I am downsizing, and I'll have to buy several new things to accommodate the new place.

I wish I had photos of the layout of the new apartment. I could show you a floor plan, but that still doesn't give you a good idea of what I'm facing. In the living room, I basically have 1 wall for furniture, since 1 wall is mainly for the fireplace and the other for the balcony doors. So that's tricky. Since I've been given permission to paint, I'm trying to decide if I want to paint the main wall in the living room that my couch will go against, or the small wall with the fireplace on it. Any ideas?

I'm trying to pick one design style that is most me, but I can't figure it out. All these shows ask stuff like;

Favorite piece of clothing? I'm always drawn to black or white pieces.
Favorite vacation spot? The beach
Interest? Art and design

And somehow through all of this I'm supposed to find my design style? It's not happening! I took some kind of design taste test on HGTV.com and it says I'm more traditional...which only made me feel boring and uninspired. :) So I feel like giving up.

Here's an old picture of the sofa set I currently own. It's not pretty, but it sure is comfy. Most people see this photo and tell me to ditch the purple pillows, and I would love to, but they match the purple piping you can't see in the photo. I mean, what would you do? Would you really put turquoise pillows on a green/purple couch???

If I can't buy new couches, maybe I should add to my list of "learn how to:"

reupholster furniture

:)

P.S. All design advice more than welcome!

Regrets

2008-05-27T18:23:00.004-05:00

Not thinking clearly, I deleted my Myspace account of 3 years. Okay, so what, right? It's just a myspace account, it's not your life. Well, that's what I was saying at first. Now, trying to recreate an account because you realize you loved it more than you liked to admit is no walk in the park. I'm on my third account right now and things still aren't cooperating. And my beloved "deleted" account is still out there, completely visible to everyone, just not accessible. It haunts me. How sad is that?

On to other things, two movies I saw this weekend I highly recommend to the chick-flick lover:

P.S. I Love YOU (Tear jerker!)
What Happens in Vegas (Hilarious!)

Shabby Chic?

2008-05-21T14:13:00.011-05:00

For some reason I have always had a soft spot for shabby chic decor. It's weird too because it's not really me, I'm not the most girly girl out there, and yet I am drawn to the softly painted and distressed look. I am, however, never going to be drawn to girly floral bedspreads, so don't hold your breath on that one.

Here are a few Criagslist finds that I found today that I keep drooling over. I refuse to purchase this style though because it goes against everything I have going on in my apartment right now. If I bought 1 or 2 shabby chic pieces and incorporated them into my home, I'd have to do a complete overhaul on everything else just to make those pieces work.

P.S. I found a new apartment Monday and signed the papers and I move in mid July. So that problem is now taken care of. My new apartment is a little smaller but has a nice open floor plan and should be lovely with it's nice vaulted ceilings and 12 foot walk-in closet. :) I wish I could buy all new furniture and start with a new style....but I think that's wishful dreaming!

Shabby Chic nightstand $35

Shabby Chic desk $75

Shabby Chic sofa table or buffet. $8 5

Shabby Chic coffee table $75

Just Hide

2008-05-19T18:14:00.004-05:00

I might as well just freaking crawl under a rock and stay there. I thought today was going to be better. But instead....................................................

I first find out that my job position is definately coming to an end in October. So they are either going to let me go or keep me on for a short while to help with closing the business down.

Then, I go apartment hunting after work and find a place. I sign the lease, pay the check and all seems okay again. With the added little voice of "what did I just do?"

THEN I come home, find a bill in my mail box from a hospital I've never heard of. I open it up and my name is on the responsible party list for some woman with the same first name as me! WTF! I call them up and sure enough, someone stole my freaking identity! I was advised to go straight to the police department!!!

I cannot believe this shit!

I don't know if I can take anymore bad news!

When it rains...it pours.

2008-05-16T22:30:00.003-05:00

I really wish I wasn't writing this post right now. I would much rather be writing about all the amazing things that have been happening to me lately, and how lucky I feel and etc. Instead, it's been quite the opposite.

Told of the pending layoff at the end of the year at a job I love.
Florida vacation, that I had been planning for 2 months, was canceled.
Said good-bye to someone I love.
Got a bad report from some medical test I took 2 weeks ago.
And today...was notified I have 60 days until I have to be out of my apartment.

I moved into my own apartment almost 2 years ago. I have never looked back either. I have loved every minute of it. Sure I get lonely at times, but that's to be expected. Well, these apartments were kind of old and they began a huge renovation. This place has done a complete 360. They just finally finished the beautiful pool outside my balcony and I love seeing it every day when I come home. It's gorgeous.

And then today, I get a letter in the mail. They are ready to complete the renovations by remodeling the inside of all the old apartments. In other words, they need me out so they can transform my place and they have given me 60 days to get out.

I am beyond upset. Not only is my job future unclear, but now I have no idea where I'm going to live. Moving to a 1 bedroom here that has already been remodeled is $200 more than what I pay in my current 1 bedroom. Obviously, more than I want to pay. So I have some options:

Move back in the with parents to get out of debt and save some money and THEN get back out on my own again.
Move out of my neighborhood to find something more affordable.
Stay in my neighborhood, but pay more than I'd like, no matter what apartment I move to.

Sadly, none of these options are appealing to me. Moving back in with my parents is like a nightmare. I would hate every minute of it....except the saving money part. Moving away is just something I really don't want to do. Sure I dream of living in East Nashville or Hermitage, but I just don't think I want it bad enough. And staying in this area only means that my price will still be higher than what I pay now. This is so disheartening. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Sure, many people have bigger issues. Just yesterday I saw a story about how people in Santa Barbara, CA are homeless and living out of their cars because they lost their homes because of the economy slump. And people in China are losing their loved ones and dying and etc. So really, I shouldn't be complaining, but this is life right? We all have problems, no matter how big or how small.

Man, life sucks right now.

Change

2008-05-12T17:42:00.003-05:00

Change is one of those things I can't live with and I can't live without. It's been a big year for me, and one full of changes. It really astonishes me when I look back and see where I was at this time last year. And as I continue to grow and learn, I hope that I can only say the same a year from now.

With that being said, there's one thing about me that is very slow at changing, and that's often carrying around a sense of guilt. It's one thing I'm trying to work on, but when it's pretty heavily engraved in you, it's hard to get rid of. Like a tattoo if you will. I'm going through the process of getting it covered up, but it's going to be a long process and a painful one.

Just yesterday I said good-bye to someone I truly care about. Goodbyes are never easy, and especially in this manner. I didn't even see it coming really. It was a series of events that I wish had played out differently. However, in the end you have to push aside emotion and look at what is really going on. Do you hang on for the sheer fact that you have a past together and letting that go would be hard? Or do you let go when you realize you've been tolerating a lot of things you don't agree with for far too long?

Sure, people make mistakes and are capable of changing. But what if that person doesn't even think what they are doing is wrong or care who else it affects? Just as some have no sight, or no hearing, some were born without the capacity to emphatize. They don't understand certain emotions, certain pain or certain suffering and simply don't care.

Many people as they grow older and wiser begin to realize that they need positive people in their lives. People who make them feel good and people who do good. People who think of others first and are always there when you need them. People who love! I began trying to make this change in my life about a year ago, and this one person was the only person I made an exception for. There was too much past, too much emotion and I was still holding out hope. But hoping for someone to gain the capacity to emphatize when they just aren't wired that way is pretty pointless.

I do not consider my time wasted though. I will always love and care for this person. But it's time for me to back away and try to go on without them.

And this has left me feeling guilty...

up to date

2008-05-11T18:58:00.004-05:00

I haven't been great at blogging lately. So here's a list to catch everyone up to date:

- My Sandy Creek Soap is amazing so far. I've only been using it for 3 days and I love it!

- I'm supposed to be in Panama City, FL right now, but the trip got canceled. So I'm really bummed.

-Still facing a big lay off at the end of the year. Not looking forward to going back out on the job hunt.

- I need new friends, but don't know how to make any.

- I'm really sick of being single, and internet dating has proven to fail so far.

Etsy Purchase #2

2008-04-30T11:01:00.005-05:00

Last night I decided to take on the daunting task of researching organic remedies for a skin condition that I have. I am so exhausted by putting chemicals in my body given to me by doctors, only to find little or temporary relief. And I must admit that after reading about Baliense Healers and their organic remedies actually working better than Western medicine in the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, I was intrigued.

So in my research I came across someone who recommended this seller on Etsy. (Etsy? Etsy has the answer to my skin condition? No way!) :) And being the fan of Etsy that I am, I immediately checked it out.

The Sandy Creek Soap Company has a line of organic products like soaps, lotions, tonics, bath salts, lip balms, laundry soaps and even organic soap and flea spray for your pets. The company was created after a woman recieved a bath set for Christmas and immediately went home to draw a hot bath. After soaking in it for 10 minutes she picked up the bottle to see what was in her 'lovely' bubble bath concoction. But the first thing she saw was a warning that read "avoid contact with eyes, mouth or open areas". She immediately drained the tub, jumped out and ran to the computer. She found most soaps contained chemicals such as sodium lauryl sulfate and sodium lauryth sulfate, which is known to be a skin irritant at the least. The next day she went to her local market only to find that every single soap and body wash contained these chemicals. Thus began her journey in making green, safe soaps. Her soaps became so widely popular that her business grew. Now she has a customer service group that quickly answers all emails and phone calls and etc and now has a sister company The Wind Song.

So last night I emailed Sandy Creek Soap Company and explained to them my skin condition and it's severity and asked what products they recommended. This morning I received a lovely, nice sized reply. A Customer Service Rep named Lilly told me that she had the skin condition called Rosacea and since working for Sandy Creek she has become faithful to handmade soaps and her rosacea is completely gone and her complexion is clear. She then went on to recommend to me 4 of their products:
- Almond Honey soap
- Jojoba Mist soap
- Anti-Itch Tonic (which is also a anti-fungal and anti-bacterial)
- and Acne Tonic (for a question I had unrelated to my skin condition)

I looked at them all, read the product descriptions and bought all 4 of them right away. :) My purchase only came to $16 (not including taxes) too. I was thrilled.

I can't wait to get my package. Apparently they also give you ample free samples with every purchase no matter how big or small, so I am super excited.

I'll be sure to update everyone on my experience and results.

In the meantime, do as Sandy Creak Soap Company says: "Be Safe. Be Clean. Go Green!!" :)

Sick

2008-04-29T07:40:00.003-05:00

Things I'm sick & tired of hearing about everywhere I turn:

Miley Cyrus and her Vanity Fair photoshoot. WHO CARES!?!
Bindi Irwin rapping about conservation on television and coming out with an album.
Tom Cruise.
J.Lo. and her reality show.
If Ashlee Simpson is pregnant or not. Again, WHO CARES!?!
American Idol
The Hills
Which weekend Britney Spears will get to see her kids...

Why in the world are we so fascinated with celebrities? It's so annoying. I flipped through every radio station today searching for one that wasn't talking about a celebrity.

I was almost hoping that all these stupid celebrity reality shows would show us all how they are human beings just like us, only more retarded, and our fascination would be over with. So much for that....

I mean, come on, the populations demmand on celebrity crap is still so big that VH1 stooped so low to create 'Celebra Cadabra'. What the bleep is that!?! Those VH1 executives are sitting comfortably on their beach front veranda somewhere, smoking cigars, drinking martinis and laughing at how they're getting rich off the worlds stupidity. It makes me sick.

The price we put on entertainment as opposed to education, global issues and politics is disgusting.

(Sorry for my rant, but I'm just fed up.)

My Weekend

2008-04-27T21:56:00.008-05:00

Friday night my plans fell through to go see The Running downtown. (A local band of 3 guys I went to school with.) So, determined not to sit at home, I called up my cousin Jen and joined her in visiting her dad and step mom (my aunt and uncle) for dinner at their house.

I love visiting my aunt and uncle. There's always good food and good conversation.

My other cousin, Jessica also joined us and brought her 11 month old son Dominic. He is so precious. Beautiful dark, almond shaped eyes, long eye lashes and Angelina Jolie lips (boy version of course). :) Can't believe he's going to be 1 year old in just 2 weeks! Here is a picture of him that my uncle took the next day while outside.We all ended up staying the night and woke up to a wonderful homemade breakfast. (I mentioned the good food, right?) :) Then we spent the rest of the day outside on the back patio reading magazines, telling funny stories and playing with the baby. I ended up with the craziest sunburn! Due to sitting at the patio table holding the baby most of the day or a magazine in my lap, I was only burned on the tops of my arms, my forehead, nose and neck. I look so funny with red stripes down both of my arms! Fun times! I used to never burn in the sun and now I go out for 1 day and I'm toast! What is up with that? Is my skin changing or is it the sun?

My cousin Jessica happens to have majored in the Plant & Soil Science field in college and so I took ample advantage of the fact that she was there and asked her what types of things I should plant out on my balcony this year. She gave me a list of flower and plant combinations to put together in pots. Then my uncle gave me some terracotta pots he wasn't planning on using. I was ecstatic. Expert advise and some free pots. I left around 4pm and went straight to Home Depot! I spent about $35 on potting soil and 10 plants and headed home.

I spent the next 2 hours outdoors on my balcony with my cats, elbow high in dirt and loving every minute of it. It feels so amazing to work with your hands. Gives me a very strong feeling of accomplishment.

I didn't exactly put together the exact arrangements my cousin had laid out for me since my Home Depot didn't have everything she suggested, so I came up with my own arrangements, working with what they did have. Here's my work:
Can't wait to see what they'll look like mid summer! I'll be sure to share photos.

The rest of my weekend was lovely as well and I'm glad to have had a full, fun and fabulous weekend! :) We need those from time to time. Wouldn't you agree?!

Trend?

2008-04-24T14:49:00.005-05:00

Am I missing something? Why is it that in a majority of the 'Small Cool 2008' entries on Apartment Therapy do people have this ikea cabinet as their entertainment center?

I have seen it in so many of the entries. Is it really that great of a piece of furniture? To me it just looks like a gym locker or a filing cabinet. And yet somehow, it manages to mix just right with the french decor look like in the above photo.

Man, for a girl who used to want to be a interior decorator, I obviously have no style. :)

Interpreting dreams?

2008-04-23T15:31:00.003-05:00

Have you ever been good at interpretting someone's dream? If so, I have one for you.

For about a year now I have been having a reoccuring dream about high school. I dream that I'm in my senior year and everyone is getting ready for graduation. The day is getting closer and closer and one day I get called into the guidance counselor's office. She tells me that I'm one credit shy and will be unable to graduate with my class. She tells me I can walk with everyone but that my diploma will be empty when I receive it.

Last night this dream was more in depth. I was actually participating in the graduation practices. And then suddenly remembered that I wasn't graduating like everyone else. I was only putting on the fascade that I was.

I guess it could mean a lot of things. Most of the people I graduated with went on to college and I didn't. This could be what is haunting me. Not sure.

News

2008-04-22T12:28:00.005-05:00

Got news that at the end of the year our office is closing. So we will all be laid off.
Another person backed out of the Florida trip. So now only 3 out of the original 6 are going. If we can't find more people to go, we may be in financial trouble.
I may spend my evening selling a bunch of crap on craisglist....for money.

Me? Golf?

2008-04-20T20:01:00.005-05:00

Last year sometime I made the comment to my dad that I'd go to the driving range with him sometime. It's one of his favorite past times and I knew it make his day to hear it. What I didn't know is that he'd remind me of it almost every time I saw him. :)

Today, the weather was great, sun was shining and I had to go visit my parents. It didn't take long for my dad to suggest the idea. I was very hesitant, but I finally agreed to go. Keep in mind that I have never played golf in my life. So we grab his clubs and instead of the driving range, we head for the 9 hole par 3. All I kept thinking was, "I'm about to make a fool out of myself."

I will have you know that all it took was that first swing, and I was hooked. I loved it! A sport where I don't have to run around and lose my breath, what more could I ask for?!

Not only did I love the game, keep up with my dad just about and make my dad's day, but afterwards he surprised me and gave me my own set. He had a smaller bag and a set of clubs and he gave them to me to keep. He said "Now we can do this every Sunday." :)

What a great day!

Speechless

2008-04-19T22:35:00.003-05:00

It's hard for me to start this blog without mentioning my absence. I apologize to the nursing mothers out there for not giving them any new reading material lately. (ahem...Adina.) :) As always after coming home from a trip, there's a small readjustment period. Even though I was only gone for 5 days, it took me a week to get back on schedule. To be perfectly honest, I still haven't completely unpacked my suitcase, and I've been home now for almost 14 days. haha So needless to say, if I can't even unpack a suitcase, writing a blog entry was the last on my list.

Allow me for a moment to be super vulnerable and honest. One of the many things I find extremely frustrating is feeling something inside myself, a movement, something stirring, and not being able to artistically express it. I struggle with this often. Many people tell me that I am creative, and I believe I am at least more creative than some, or maybe I'm just really drawn to creativity and don't posses the quality as much as I'd like to. Either way, more than I would like, I seem to struggle from a creative block. Words fill my mind, beautiful writing, rivers of ink and pages; but when I put pen to paper, of fingers to the keyboard, only crap comes out. It never seems to mirror what's inside. This is beyond aggravating.

And right now I am experiencing one of those moments. All day I have been in deep thought. Thoughts that I don't want to forget. Thoughts that I want to express and bring forth, but I literally pick up a pen, and stare at a blank piece of paper....and nothing.

It almost makes me emotional. It's as if you want to take a picture to forever record this memory, but your camera isn't working. Something so beautiful is right before you and you want to share it with others, you want to capture it so that you can always remember exactly how it was. But you're only left to rely on memory, and you know it won't be the same.

I feel it now as I sit here and type. Something is stirring about inside of me. I feel it's movement. Something so alive. And when all I want to do is write exactly what's going on with me, something that I feel accurately depicts the emotion behind it, I'm left speechless.