Today I am exhausted. On my desk in front of me I have a cup of coffee and a cup of steaming green tea. I was desperate for some sort of energy, not really caring where it came from. I'm just glad I didn't reach for a soda. (The day isn't over though...)
I feel the need for escape. Last night I was reading 'If You Want To Write' by Brenda Ueland, which was a book Marta recommended in her blog a while back, and in chapter five she talks about being idle to allow your creativity to come through, slowly but surely. I found myself getting lost in her words as she talked about going to your bedroom alone, closing the door, and sitting with pen and paper in front of your window and just being idle. I can't wait for this weekend to arrive so I can do just that. I look forward to being idle, doing nothing and being fine with that, and just breathing.
Over the weekend I saw 'Waiting to Exhale' starring Whitney Houston. I love that movie, very empowering. But I realized last night how clever the title was. I had always looked over it in the past, but as I was laying there, writing in my journal after reading a bit, it dawned on me. I felt like that! I feel as if I am waiting to exhale. Got so much going on in this brain of mine, that I feel as if I hardly get a break. Some call that stress. Ken says I should take up kick boxing to relieve the stress. I think either that or Yoga could do the trick....temporarily.
But right now, I want nothing more than to drive through a country side, find a field of daisies and solitude, park the car, walk to the middle of that field, lay down and just escape from the world...from myself. I want to watch the clouds go by for hours, watch the wind toss the daisies around, listen to the birds talk amongst themselves and have the sun warm my body. Nothing sounds more appealing to me right now.
I want to escape.